As Barack Obama was awarded the Nobel Peace Price on the grounds that he is not George W. Bush, I feel obliged to point out to the world that I am also not George W. Bush.

Plus, Mr Obama has recently sent 30,000 troops to Afghanistan.
I have sent fewer troops to Afghanistan than this. To date, I have sent approximately zero troops into Afghanistan. That's a difference of about 30,000.

I would also wager that Mr Obama's carbon footprint is several thousand times greater than mine. Living in a white house is supposed to be good for the environment, but i think I still have the edge.

However, I must confess that neither of us have signed the Kyoto agreement, so we're on an equal footing there.

I broke up a fight in a pub once. Barack killed a fly on telly.

It's right there in facts and figures, folks. They can't argue with it. See you in Oslo.